09-13-06

And Let Us Never Speak of It Again...

I'm not sure how to start.   Hmm...  Okay, something happened today that has caused me to do two things.  First, I'm restarting the reviews and opinions columns.  Second, today's double review will focus on the best of two genres that have more than their share of drek:  a cut-and-paste comic, and a 3-D model comic.  And what has prompted this?  Josh Sortelli has restarted Elf Only Inn.

A Tale of Yore
Okay, technically, Elf Only Inn is not, in fact, a cut-and-paste comic, but it started as one.  There was always one difference between Sortelli's comic and other CnP efforts:  Sortelli did all the art himself; he certainly didn't crib any of it from old copies of Broderbund's Printmaster© programs.  And he was (and is) funny.  Okay, that's two major differences.  See the reason I tend to shy away from reviewing CnP's is that congratulating the rare gem like EOI has the unfortunate side effect of encouraging hacks to think they can do something similar without sharing Sortelli's wit or artistic skill.
          So let's do a bit of history, shall we?  Elf Only Inn started back in 2002.  Those of you over 4 will remember that 2002 was a troubled time.  Ultima Online was finally smashed under the weight of the juggernaut Everquest, and the old MUCKs and MUDDs of the previous decade were left scurrying around its wheels, scrambling for scraps.  Into this apocalyptic landscape wanders Josh Sortelli.  Sortelli was a MUCKer, and he had a tale to tell and to share.  And so began Elf Only Inn.
          It started as a Cut-and-Paste way for Sortelli to relive his fun MUCKy moments while poking fun at the people and situations he had found there.  Essentially, the plot surrounding EOI is that it is a roleplaying chat room (MUCK stands for Multi-User Chat Kernel...I don't know what MUDD stands for), unfortunately, it is a roleplaying chat room where almost nobody does what the host (Lord Elf) thinks is proper roleplaying for a chat room titled "Elf Only Inn".  Lord Elf's chat room was quickly overwhelmed with Vulcans, Goths, Action Heroes, Elder Gods and Demons, and even a DragonBall wannabe who spoke only in CAPS!!!!11!!@.
          Despite the suitability of Sortelli's CnP figures to the basic premise of the strip, by the end of 2003, Sortelli had begun actually drawing the panels of the strip.  This may have had something to do with the introduction of the emotive and amusing Wootseyediditagain, a tentacle monster character (the Eternal Sweeper) that had been recruited to aid with the removal of Lord of Dorkness.  Certainly the timing coincided.  It's probably that Sortelli was just dissatisfied with the cut-and-paste world, and felt he had outgrown the medium.
          He also outgrew the original premise fairly quickly, and while there remained regular references to the comic occurring within the confines of a chat room, he was soon taking on anything and everything that caught his eye from Britney Spears fan Sites, to Vegans, to...well, pretty much anyone.
          Sadly, n autumn of 2004, coincidentally, at about the time that Casual Notice was starting, Elf Only Inn stopped, like Avalon before it.  Sortelli's masterpiece just stopped.  Must be something to do with the name Josh.
          Now, however, it's back.  Lord Elf has re-opened his inn on a roleplaying server in the fictitious MMORPG "Marauders of Gaia".  And has been quickly smacked down by Duke Commando in a Barbarian suit.
          And the Gods cried with joy.

Not for Posers
I don't like 3-D comics.  I have a very good reason for this: they (and I mean this in the nicest possible way) suck giant monkey butt.  The way your typical 3-D comic comes to being is this:  Billy the Hack is certain he has the ultimate webcomic epic, something that will make Clan of the Cats, A Mad Tea Party, and Antique White House all look like second-rate parodies of Prince Valiant and Mary Worth.  Sadly, Billy has even less artistic skill than he has writing skill, and his epic is much too deep, too moving for a shoddily-constructed stickman comic.  What Billy does have, however, is a copy of Poser, and access to plenty standard Poser skins, morphs, and backgrounds.  So now the Internet gets treated to the ongoing saga of a bunch of poorly-lit models with stony faces acting out every detail of Billy's badly-written script by standing in various preset poses with their feet not quite touching the ground.  With luck, Billy gets distracted by the latest WoW expansion within about a month.  That's the way 3-D comics are.  that's the way they must remain so I can continue to turn my nose up at anything vaguely resembling a Poser comic.
          Enter Scott Christian Sava.  Not only does Sava have the unmitigated gall to write an amazingly good story, but then he compounds it by using carefully crafted, fully articulate and amazingly emotive character animations.  It probably helps that Sava owns a CGI studio, but regardless of his credentials, be prepared to forget everything you thought you knew about 3-D webcomics.
          Sava's comic, The Dreamland Chronicles, is a sweeping fantasy in the "just past your vision" vein of The Neverending Story, The Phantom Tollbooth, and The Chronicles of Narnia, but without the latter's Christian allegory.  Dreamland tells the tale of Alexander, a young man who hasn't dreamed since he was twelve years old.  Prior to that time he had recurring sequential dreams of having adventures in a faraway land with his friends—a fairy, a stone giant and an elf princess, all his own age.  Then one day, after they had defeated an evil and remarkably stupid cyclops, they chanced upon a cave.  Only Alexander could enter, and when he did, assuring his friends he would "be right back" (begin ominous thrumming cello music), he found a sword defended by a dragon who swore that the sword was evil.  And then he was awake, and he never dreamed again.
          Until now.  He's in college now, and is discussing his odd lack of dreaming with a Psychology grad student as an extra credit assignment.  And he's dorming with his twin brother who just happens to have a sword pendant that Alexander once owned.  Alexander reclaims it one night during an argument and finds himself back in the land of his childhood dreams.  The rest you'll have to find out on your own.
          Sava knows his stuff.  His pacing is excellent, and his story, while riding the line between "G" and "PG" is still interesting to an adult (yes, I'm technically an adult so you just hush!).  It drags a bit at first, but once he gets started, you can't help but be enthralled by his vision and drawn in by the tale he crafts.
          Because Sava is all about craft, if the story doesn't catch you, the artwork will.  When Nastajia glares at the pirate near the end of Book Three, you wonder why he doesn't just drop dead from the sheer hatred conveyed in her eyes.  Sava's models are more emotive than many hand-drawn comics I've seen.  Heck, they're more emotive than I couple of human actors I've seen.  Every scene is carefully crafted with every detail of light, character, and composition firmly in Sava's mind.  And it works, oh, so very well.
          This is the way 3-D comics should look.  If you don't put this level of effort into it, well, they don't call the program Poser for nothing.

Elf Only Inn by Josh Sortelli
Updates: MWF
Caveats:  widespread mockery, goths, vampires (half)
Rating:

The Dreamland Chronicles by Scott Christian Sava
Updates: Daily
Caveats:  so good it will mislead you about a comic genre
Rating: