10-01-06

A Great Big Box of ...
I have a special message for hackers, for the makers of spyware, adware, viruses, for anyone who thinks that he (or she) has some undefinable right to use the internet as his or her personal toy regardless of whatever damage they cause, regardless of the rights of the people they violate.  Do us all a favor, sell your equipment, then take the money, buy a hammer and a great big box of sand and pound it up your ass!
          I am not, you can probably tell, in a good mood.  I have spent the week repeatedly deleting, removing and disabling the same intrusive adware from my computer.  This annoys me.  That the perpetrators of this continual violation seem to have purchased space on an otherwise reputable banner ad service (that is present on at least half of the sites that sell ads) is something that fills me with murderous rage.  In order to prevent myself doing the sort of damage that gets people in Texas a bed and a needle (in the worst possible way), I'm going to vent.  It's my site, and I get to vent when I want to.  If you have an issue with my venting, feel free to post a comment on my LiveJournal, where this will be simultaneously posted.
To the makers of Winfixer and Drivecleaner:  Fuck you.   I don't know how good your product is, and I don't ever intend to find out.  Every time you use an Internet Explorer security hole to attempt a rape on my system and push your software, I hate you more.  Even if I didn't hate you for your continued attempts to violate my property, I would never buy your software.  I'm not an idiot.
          Exploiting a hole to point up the "value" of your "security" suites is the Internet equivalent of breaking into my house to point up the necessity of installing your alarm system.  If you're willing to violate me (and, I believe, the law) to that extent just for a sale, then how do I know how truly secure your software is?  You've already shown a casual disregard for ethics and common morals.  Is it such a large step from breaking and entering to robbery?  Once you're in, should I assume that you're one of those "honorable" thieves they like to show on TV that won't leave the back door (and the front door, and several windows) open for anyone willing to grease your palm?  I was born in the morning, but I wasn't born this morning.
To anyone and everyone who uses a spam engine to drop dumbass messages with skanky links all over any communication written with php:  Fuck you.  I've seen the p&l models on spam advertising, and while I admit the return on investment seems impressive, I assure you that all you are really doing is pissing people off.  If it's your desire to live in your nasty-ass office in an old paper factory downtown while you steadily lose friends and good faith because you're such a total skankwad, you go right ahead, but if you want an actual business model that will raise you from the ranks of common grifter to useful human being, you need to rethink your ad model. 
          I no longer have a forum because of fucks like you, and I will just continue to delete your porn/insurance/medication spam every time I look at my site and view the crappy-ass flood you've laid down on my tag board.  Seriously, fuck you.
To the Symantec Corporation and particularly the programmers of Norton Antivirus, etc:  I want you to understand in no uncertain terms that there is no such thing as a "low" security risk.  A thief with a hammer is every bit as dangerous as a thief with a Glock.  He's just going to be a lot messier getting the job done.  The default setting for any risk, regardless of "level", should be "remove".  Seriously, if your otherwise fantastic program and update service recognizes a file or plugin or registry entry as a threat, delete it.  What's the point in publishing those definitions and adding them to the risk list if the default action is a tiny little 5-second window?  It's kind of the same as hiring a security guard who leans against the wall all night and mentions in passing, "Oh, by the way, a guy with a hammer crawled in through the window..."
Lastly, to the Apple Corporation and every Mac user on the planet:  Fuck you and your smug self-satisfaction.  The relative dearth of Mac viruses has nothing to do with the built-in security of Apple software.  It has everything to do with your computer being a niche platform with minimal market penetration.  I'm not saying it's not a good computer.  I cut my computing teeth on an Atari ST, so I know how good computers built around the Motorola processors can be (yes I know that Macs now use an Intel processor, that doesn't change the fact that Mac built its name on computers using Motorola 68000-series chips).  I'm saying that no one can plug all the holes when there are over a million useless fuckwits working to find new ones, and having a small user base means you have a small front of attack.  It's like living in West Zoink (population 152 since Allie-Sue had her new baby) and proudly proclaiming that your neighborhood is intrinsically burglar-safe because Houston has a higher crime rate.

It irritates me that anywhere people gather in numbers you will always find useless bastards who think it is their right and obligation to fuck around with other people.  I hate that I have to lock my house and car if I'm not watching them.  I despise the necessity of stop-light cameras and speed traps at school zones.  I rub my temples in frustration and have to wonder what the hell is wrong with society when basic rules of courtesy and respect get flung out the window and matters of law are ignored for convenience.
           I like being an American.  I love my freedom, and I respect the freedoms of the people around me.  And their rights.  If you're one of those people who has no respect for liberty or personal rights, if you're one of those who through your selfishness and self-centeredness is helping to erode American freedoms because your obnoxious, destructive and illegal actions force a defensive response, then I have a special prezzy for you.  A great big box of ...FUCK YOU!